Daughters only? – Translation

This is a translation version of “दुइटी छोरी मात्र?” The following article is completely based on my life experiences and what I have seen for the past twenty two years of my life. This is based on background of Nepal, and can also be found on most of South Asian Countries.

This is my and my family’s story. Hope you like it!


“Since you already have one daughter, give birth to a son this time, then you can easily go to heaven!” This was a constant dialogue my mom heard after she was pregnant with my little sibling. Many times I was around her when these demands were made. Back then many people gave advice to mom on how to give birth to a son, may it be using some kind of medicine, or doing some prayers. Many people assumed that she definitely had son in her womb since she hadn’t aborted it so far. Where everyone were busy demanding for a son, I was there asking my mom for a little sister.

After some months, like I wished, mom gave birth to a little daughter. I had a sister now, I was the happiest person in this planet. But, whoever came to meet mom, or called to know about the newborn, they didn’t sound happy. Some started scrunching their nose when they heard the second child was a daughter too. Some pretended to be happy, whereas some even said that mom has a fate of being mother thrice. Many people said that now my parents have to bear the burden of two daughters. Mom and dad never took any of these things by heart, they always laughed it off.

After my sister was born, my relatives started nagging me too. Whenever they met me, they would start to teach me to ask my mom for a little brother. When I said I didn’t want one, they would start quarreling with me. No matter what others said, Ours was a happy little family, with happiness all around. Where people were claiming a son as a reason of happiness in a family, we were living in our own sweet world with two daughters in it. Me and my sister are the entire world for our parents. And when I look at them, I don’t feel they miss the fact of not having a son in our family.

But, even today whenever I come across people, they start complaining. Two children, both daughters, no son, who will look after you once you grow old? These are some major questions we always come across. But, I have seen many cases where even the son has not taken care of his family at all. I don’t feel bad when they question such nonsense things, rather I feel pity on their ill thinking.

But, this is not only the story of our family. This is the story of every family who only have daughters. Daughters are always considered as goddess Laxmi and parents who give birth to their first daughter are congratulated for bringing in a goddess home but when second daughter is born why don’t people congratulate for bringing second goddess home, why people start scrunching their nose on that news?  When will you give birth to a son?, people tend to ask it a lot to the mother of daughters only in this paternalistic society. I have seen a lot of families who gave birth to a son after many daughters. But I have barely seen families who gave birth to a daughter after two or three sons.

In Nepali society, there’s one famous proverb, ” Daughter or son, We love them equally!” But can we really see it around? Are every daughters in our society loved equally as sons? Daughters are fighting for their life from the womb itself, Even when they are brought to this world, their war doesn’t end, rather increases.

Our society is a paternalistic society. Here we can find lots of men running ahead by dragging women backwards. People abort their daughters in the womb itself, some who are brought up to this world are also tortured, hurt and dragged down by the so called people of our society.

Sometimes back I read ‘यत्र नार्यस्तु पूज्यन्ते रमन्ते तत्र देवता’ written somewhere. Which meant Gods enjoy being in the place where women are worshiped.  But, are women in our society actually worshiped? Let alone worshiping they are not even treated as equal to men! Sometimes back I saw a post on Facebook, where a person was asking what is the masculine word for housewife. There I saw a man commenting it as “Henpecked Husband”. I thought for a while, when a women does her household chores it is classified as a matter of pride by the society , but when a man does the same chores in his house, why didn’t the society teach that it increases the pride even more? Why always daughters are asked to do chores, when son just lie around doing nothing. Why they never thought about distributing the chores equally which would reduce the burden on girls.

Sometimes when I randomly gossip with my friends, I often hear them saying, “my brother does nothing, he just lies around and complains, even mom doesn’t say anything to him.” I get so upset hearing all that from them.

It’s currently 2077 BS in Nepal, many people have got PhD in many subjects, people have roam around the world, they act modern by copying the western habits, but even today the thinking of our society is still stuck in 1900s. All might not do it, but there are many highly educated people who are still aborting a daughter just to get a son. Many women are divorced just because they didn’t give birth to son. Even though people pretend to be modern by wearing cool clothes and expensive jewelries, our thoughts and actions are still roaming around in the old centuries. Having a son will help you go to heaven easily after you die is what people think, but what they don’t know is a daughter can turn your house into a living heaven while you’re still alive.


Note: While translating I wasn’t able to completely translate the Nepali sentences in English. There might be many mistakes. Will keep on improving. Correction suggestions will be appreciated.


‘यत्र नार्यस्तु पूज्यन्ते रमन्ते तत्र देवता ’


Thank you for your taking out your time to read my article. This means a lot. Follow @anjaliutters to motivate me more if you haven’t already!!

135 thoughts on “Daughters only? – Translation

  1. Heartbreaking and shocking as well. Thank you for sharing. This is a situation most common still in this day throughout the world. Wishing you happiness and peace. Thank you for your bravery!

    Liked by 8 people

    • Thankyou so much ma’am! People see these things happening around them every other day still they keep shut just because they fear speaking up against it. It’s really sad and heartbreaking to call ourselves people of 21st century when our thinking is still worst than the People of stone ages! 🥺We really need to change! 🙏

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Your post is so spot on. In so many societies, there is still this expectation that you need to have a son to truly continue your legacy or to make you happy. Instead of wishing for your child to be born happy and healthy, people start worrying about the gender for the wrong reasons. Having a child, whether it’s a girl or boy, is a blessing on its own. Great post!

    Liked by 9 people

  3. Awesome script. I really appreciate your writing skill and the expressions you made in this blog. I support your views. There is no doubt that daughters are angels. They are more adorable and gift to the parents. I have a son and a daughter. Our daughter made us proud being her parents, both in the family and in the society. Sons once get married will forget their parents .
    There may be exceptions. But 90% , this is the fact.
    Kudos to your blog. 👏👏👏👏💐

    Liked by 6 people

    • Thankyou so much ma’am! I completely understand what you’re trying to explain up in the comments! Only if half of the people understood this thing. No women would ever shed a tear just because she cannot give birth to a son. Thankyou so much for appreciating ma’am ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  4. It is really heart wrenching to say that this thing is still in practice today. It’s sad that you and your family had to go through all these society rituals and beliefs. This post certainly describes your feelings and your family’s will power to overcome all this. Very nicely written and described!

    Liked by 6 people

  5. Dear Anjali, I am a proud father of two daughters. My wife is the first of her parents Two daughters.
    I have a lot if friends who are blessed with two daughters.
    The society is dumb clay.. cant think.. Evolve a new positive mindset takes eons.
    I am glad it is happening.
    I pray God that I should be born a girl in my next birth.

    Liked by 7 people

    • That’s so nice of you sir. I really get so happy seeing so many progressive families in society ignoring all of this practices.I really hope we can stop all of this one day soon. Love to your family and your daughters! ❤️

      Like

  6. Wow, this was awesome, spot on and a very sensible description of how people behave in our society especially South Asia. Even un India there is a similar bias towards having a son and it is so deep rooted that it still might time for people to realize how wrong they are in their assumptions. Great writing, kudos

    Liked by 6 people

  7. You took a line from MANU SMRITHI, a sanskrit phrase Yatra Naryasthu Poojyante Ramante Tatra Devatha , refer it timely on article, where the female is respected there the devine intervention will be there, but no one cares for it in the egoistic world. I like the post and i wish your family cheer and smile and prove to the teasers you are better than them always. Have a wonderful day. Cheers. 👌🙏🙋‍♂️🍀⚘

    Liked by 6 people

  8. Got emotional reading your post Anjali …I am a single child , me and my parents went through the same situations …I’m proud and blessed to take care of my mom as my dad is no more ….The change is needed but I don’t think it’ll happen ….I am observing this mentality since 43 years……

    Liked by 5 people

  9. The important thing is that your parents cherish you. The society is evolving very slowly, when it is evolving at all. I get so angry when I hear these stories, because even in the West there are some people who make differences between the siblings.

    Liked by 6 people

  10. Beautifully penned, 👏👏 you know while reading this , my anger starts brewing, I always get irritated and angry by such people and their so called concern, and this is coming from the people who are considered to be elite and educated and what not !!!
    I wanna achieve something in my life,I want to get to an respectable position and wanna scream out loud “idiots” on their face 😐😐

    Liked by 7 people

  11. Why, why, why do people do this? They ask young couples when they will have children. Then, it’s do you want a boy or a girl. I know some people don’t mind receiving these comments, but for everyone else, it’s just really uncomfortable.

    Liked by 5 people

  12. You got me in my feelings reading this. I just wish people were open minded and simply prioritised love over such ideologies as preferring a son as a second born.
    Glad your parents didn’t take to heart the ill comments of people 💚

    Liked by 6 people

  13. Pingback: Daughters only? – Translation – Myworld

  14. I can totally understand your perspective. Till date in many societies a girl is considered a liability, she isn’t expected to make something good of herself. But i do believe there are many good humans around that dare to think differently. I have a friend and she is the only child of her parents. She has been the apple of the eye of her entire family. Cheers to yours as well to think differently. Not all have the courage to flow differently to the societal pressure. 😇

    Liked by 4 people

  15. Amazing, I am from india. I also face same problem by my own relatives or neighbours . Laxmi durga devi ki sangua mili historical age m per baad k niyamon ne is smaj ko bilkul pittraasattatmak patriarch bna diya. Orton ki is dasha ki jimmesar ek aurat hii hai. An educated woman is must to eradicate these types thinking.

    Liked by 3 people

  16. This is so eye-opening and interesting. I was not raised in a family with this level of pressure about gender because I was the only girl with three brothers and I gave birth to two boys. No one said it out loud, but there was always a feeling of relief that there was only one girl. The underlining feeling of pride people/husbands have when you are pregnant with a boy is there as well.

    Liked by 3 people

  17. Anjali, your post is insightful and thought provoking. It is so well written. As a father of two beautiful, intelligent, powerful daughters, I can tell you it is heaven on earth. I consider it a privilege every day that I had the opportunity to raise them. Thank you for sharing. Stay safe.

    Liked by 3 people

  18. As a mother of two girls, my mom often heard some of the things you’ve written. And even in India, despite us proudly claiming to be a ‘modern nation’, patriarchy, sexism and gender discrimination still runs rampant.
    Really glad you wrote this! 💚 I loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Even with lots of societal developments, the myth of yearning for a son hasn’t stopped. I’m a daughter, the only child to my parents and I’ve experienced such questions too. You’ve expressed the problem very well!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I can never understand why any society would treat girls and women as inferior, no man would be on this earth without us carrying him, giving birth to him and spending a year or two with him at our breast! It is wrong to abort a healthy baby girl and goes against nature providing equal numbers; pity the poor Chinese extra men who will never find a wife of their own!

    Liked by 2 people

    • No one thinks the same way, sometimes people go way beyond their limits, I just get disgusted by seeing their thinking about women and the female child. Trust me, It’s so hard to live in a society being a woman with opinions where woman aren’t treated properly! 😞
      Thankyou for reading and appreciating!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. Greetings—
    I stopped by to welcome you to annieasksyou and to thank you for your support. I became very involved in your description of the impact of your paternalistic society, so now I shall follow you too.
    It’s fortunate that your parents were not caught up in the more prevalent thinking that values sons more than daughters.
    Your translation was just fine, though I wish I could read your work in your native tongue.
    Cheers,
    Annie

    Cheers,
    Annie

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Thanks for sharing your story. When I was a teenager growing up in Guyana, our landlord had six sons. None of his three wives could bear him a son. I became the daughter he longed for. As a girl and the firstborn, I had to help my work-at-home mother to raise my four siblings–one sister and three brothers. Though there were chores specific to us girls–cooking, housecleaning, and washing–the boys also had chores.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Culture has its position in life but when it operates against the will and purposes of God for each of our lives then things can get bad. Everyone of us came on earth with a purpose and for a purpose. Yourself and your sister who was born after you both have your different purposes.If it is God’s will for a baby boy to be born then that will happen. The Almighty God is the giver and director of our lives
    It is bad to destroy a young life because the gender is not what you expect. Male and female have their purpose we need to look at the fact that there are women across the world who are unable to have a child.
    You will rise up to teach a lot of people No matter what you choose to become in life never give up on your writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thankyou so much for so much of appreciation! 🥺 And as you said therr, I too believe that everyone has a purpose to serve while they are brought up in this world, who knows what that child can do in the future if you will not let them live at all. Everyone deserves a fair chance of living and discovering life despite any gender, religion or race they belong to ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Anjali, I read your story with great empathy. There are many injustices in the world, whatever country you live in. I am appalled by what is happening in the US right now. In my view, our government has taken giant leaps backward in the last three-and-a-half years. I think we will elect more progressive leaders this year, and sanity and a more progressive agenda will return. This serves to remind us that old hatreds still exist in the hearts of the few. Those hatreds rise to the surface when such people are emboldened by evil leaders to discriminate and commit violence against those of other races and religions and to oppress women. When you have accomplished equality for women, you must still be vigilant that old prejudices do not rise again!

    I wish you and your sister a very happy and successful life, and your country a bright future.

    Thank you for following my site. I look forward to reading more of what you have to say. All the best! Cheryl

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thankyou so much Cheryl ❤️ I really hope everyone and every country have peace in them, And all the trouble that exists disappear in coming years! Thankyou so much for all the love and appreciation. It means so much to me ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Fascinating. You are an excellent storyteller. Verbally members of most societies speak as if they follow principles that unify them, like justice, peace, equality, and love. These principles are called by many names and are often emphasized in religions. But regardless of what they say many people practice lesser values that serve them and their power base. You are looking through the values, customs, and traditions and identifying the principles that unify all of us regardless of gender, lifestyle, or religion. It’s great to read articles from people like yourself that have awakened to these principles from a frame of reference within yourself, where we are all valued. If we act on unifying principles, challenging our values, we will act daily to create a peaceful humanity.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thankyou so much for your precious comment on my post ❤️ I feel extremely overwhelmed seeing you so appreciative about this. And about the things you said, I completely agree on unifying principles, challenging our values and creating a peaceful humanity. ❤️ Thankyou for visiting my profile 🙏

      Like

  26. A very interesting post. Yes, more young girls are aborted than boys. Just one sign of humanity’s “fallen” nature. That’s a Christian concept related to the explanation of why there is evil in the world. Speaking of religion, the Christian faith values the life of every single human being. Christians who follow the Bible do not believe in ending the life of any children through abortion.
    If you want to learn more about Christianity, read about the life of Jesus in the Gospel according to John. If you have any questions, I would be happy to attempt to answer them. God’s very best to you, Anjali.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s